End of the Line

Where are you going? Why are you going there. What reason do you have for going there. Are you going there for yourself, or for someone else. What do you need to get there. When you get there, is that the end of the line?

These questions define life. Or  more specifically, our goals in life. Our goals define who we are and what we do.

Many people go through their life in routine. Clocks and schedules, jobs and obligations from friends, family, coworkers, teachers, business partners and deitys move us around almost robotically through the world. At what point do we stop and ask ourselves: "What are we doing this for?"

Some people are lucky enough to know their goals, they've written it down on paper they keep in their wallet or on their dashboard or computer desk in their cubicle at work to remind themselves of where they're going.  Some have had it set by their parents and live lives to fullfill and realize others dreams and goals that were never reached or pre-determined. Some have been bestowed a higher purpose by a higher power to follow in the footsteps of a divine deity towards enlightenment. Some have goals micromanaged into weekly or even sometimes daily tasks, gradually working their way through life. The main idea within each of us is this:

Without a goal, we are just lost.

Recently, I've rediscovered my goal. I had gone from having a strong conviction on who I was, why I was here, and what my purpose was. To a total loss of self, a total loss of purpose and reason, and no direction.  Its weird when you realize that your dreams are just that, dreams. As a child you have grandiose thoughts, the world is your playground. As an adult you realize that the world is a game, but the most dangerous, complicated one you can ever play. Your opponents are ruthless and uncaring, and they'll do whatever they can to win. Even if winning means taking your piece off of the board. Survival of the Fittest. Well you know what I say?

Fuck Darwin.

All my life I have tried to be a selfless person. Even picked on as a kid, i still learned to forgive, and love and accept, with the hopes to lead by example and have those around learn to accept me and others who are 'different' in the same light as themselves. Showing tolerance to the condescending teenagers in middle school with their inferiority complexes. Shaping and molding myself in the same fashion towards adulthood as my high school counterparts. Do unto others. Never let them keep you down. This is what I lived by. Those in need of help, give what you can when you can. We're all in this world together lets act like it.

I realize now that in my travels, in my circle, and in my industry, very few people think that way. The selfless get walked on and taken advantage of, because the selfish can prosper off the pain of the weak. The selfless, are weak. Which in turn has made me weak. But how can I stoop to their level and only think about me to better myself, when I know at some point I will have to use the selfless for self gain?

Redefine my goals. Because they are what I want, who I am, and my purpose for progression. As a child, my dreams were to be a superstar rapper, or actor, in the limelight as a handicapped wonderboy. Lights and fame, glamour and gold, love and adulation....How selfish.... Really all I wanted was love and adulation. Growing up I'd realize just how hard it is to achieve those dreams. But i wouldn't let that stop me. Get better, get smarter, get stronger, innovate, originate, think outside the box. But in the end I was still doing all of this for my gain. For my fame. Then I thought to myself. What good do I get, from recognition. I mean, once I'm rich and famous, what do I do then?

Well, if I had a voice that large, that could be heard all over the world, why not use it to do good and make change.

This new redefinition of my goal, changed the way I looked at my life, and the world around me immensely. Because not only could I start using my talents and voice and story for good and inspiration. But I didn't need to wait until I was famous. I could start RIGHT NOW.

I never found myself sad because I knew there was always someone worse off than me that needed uplifting. I never found myself satisfied because I knew there was always someone striving harder than me. My creativity gained a focus, my morals and ethics gained some root. My critique positive and encouraging, and my collaborations plentiful. It wasn't about me anymore, it was about helping the people around me realize, that its not about just them. Its about all of us.

In my worst spot I found a friend who's philosophy I'm learning is a lot like mine, just more defined. He's helping me to define my philosophy. Without knowing where I've been, I could never know where I'm going. Without knowing where I'm going, I couldn't even start to think about what to do when I get there. These were thoughts that he made arise in my mind, I guess he spent a lot of time thinking about his goals and contribution to life also. Which is something that I find is a rarity in a lot of people. Maybe its because most peoples goals are monitary and material. There are cut and dry ways to get to those that are tried tested and proven.

But we, the dreamers, choose to take the path less travelled. The ambitious know that your impact on the world can't be defined by the amount of things that you have or the amount of money that you earn. But it is the amount of impact you have on the world through sharing of experience to change lives. Your deeds, your reach, your stories, your trials and tribulations youve overcome, your passion, your individuality, your caring and love, these are what are forever, what defines your time here as meaningful. Your contribution to life.

So I go about my days, even now as I'm a struggling artist, with the few believing in me pushing me forward, hoping to spread our collective ideals even further to a world lost without goals, blinded by media and mirrors, hopeless with no direction, with drive. I now know my goal, see, my dreams are just the beginning. What goals I achieve from my dreams at the end of the line, is my reason for perseverance during crisis, humility during success, tolerance during intolerance, love amongst hatred, and believing and hoping for a better future for all of us, in the changes I can make in peoples lives every single day, one person at at time. So at the end of it all I ask you this:

Where are you going? Why are you going there. What reason do you have for going there. Are you going there for yourself, or for someone else. What do you need to get there. When you get there, is that the end of the line? Or are there goals beyond your dreams.